Congrats on your Period Card
So your daughter is the age that you got your first period. You know it’s coming any day now. And you remember your first, the blood bath… literally. How you thought you were dying and there was screaming and crying involved. A scene straight out of Carrie. But now you’re an awesome mother. You aren’t afraid of talking about the female body. So when it happens to your daughter, you’ll be ready. You’ll show her exactly where a tampon goes. And you’ll hit her with this awesome card. Welcome to womanhood: monthly scheduled suffering, endless body fluids, and weird hormone-related chin hairs. She’s a fucking woman and you’re damn proud of her.